With a swift cut im torn to pieces idle to the actions I  know I must but can not take..  Tell me it will all be ok, tell me you wern't there to slice away,  You've come and time has taken you f urther but in the absence of soberness i wonder if your gone.. for you will never know and you shall never taste the passion of the heart I had to offer.. Time be  told i am no man of perfection, I am none of percision but still I am no man deserving  to suffer wondering.  The bitterness i hath tempted and forgon i fear will forever stain the depths of my soul, I hope in patience that you, whomever and however sweet thy shall be, can blind me as to sweep me away from my self for what is love but a look down a cliff and the dive taken...  For i fear the one has come and gone.. but you..  you will never know.

Thing's continue to get so hard and im not grasping for you anymore, i'm grasping for hope.  Goodnight.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Ha ppy Kwanza and a ll that other great great  holid ay shit!   Well I am still home and still bo or red out of my fucking mind!  There is, as always, not a lot goin on and being as due to things that have went down here at the house, my rents have been mad lock down with the shit i do so this winter isn't all that great but call me anyways cause ya never know.   Got some shit for Christmas, new clothes, cologne an Itrip which rocks my socks and o yeah im attempting to quit smokin, noott easy to do.  Well hope all i sgreat with whomever reads and never leaves comments but hey Call me up for whatever whenever.  pz. 

ps. 43 days untill i go back fuckin hurry up already!

Wel I'm home...  or should i say in Dover.  I havn't been home for more than 4 days and my parents have already accused me of sm oking pot in front of the house, what am i fuckin retarded?  My car died in the middle of Rt. 13 in Smyrna which isn't fuckin cool.  But good news is hoping that I don't get kicked out of my house for any bull shit, I'll be working at the Harley shop in Smyrna and movin back up Feb 7th.  Spring break will either be Myrtle beach SC or Palm Sprints FL havn't decided yet, feel free to give your opinion.  No Xmas and Newyears party at the house this year lol as many of you remember how fuckin crazy last year was, how can i forget.  I'm actually going to a few new years partys so hit me up if you wanna go only bad part is i have to work during the day on New years eve.   Well you've got the number so while i am broke for the moment hit me up anyway.  pz.

So i figured this would be a better w ay to tell people who give a shit being the four or five people who read this shit lol, something about me or something ive done recently.  Today i walked into the recruiters office and signed papers to Join the United States Marine Corp.  Yes Josh really did sign up i just have to wait back for my medical papers because of the Knee surgery and then go to Meps pass the physical and take the ASVAB which i should do alright on even though my pre score wasn't all that great, above average but still not all that great.  Don't worry ill still be going to school, just wo nt be around during summer and winter times and so forth.  Hoping to god everything goes as i want it too with my knee and all i will leave out in June.  Just figured you should know.  Thanks, pz.